Fear of the doctor

It's normal for little kids to be afraid of the doctor and of medical procedures.  We don't mind, and we try to keep them as calm as possible.  We do mind some of the parental responses.  Let me tell you about some of the responses that induce rage in medical personnel:

1. "Stop that! Leave him alone! Can't you see he doesn't like that?"
     Oh, so THAT's why Cznoflayque kicked me in the face!  I'd have never figured that out.  Anyway, chill.  I'm not doing major surgery without anesthesia here, I'm just trying to look in his damn ears.  Or draw blood.  Or start an IV.  All things that need to be done to evaluate and treat your child.  Militantly "defending" your child from the medical staff just reinforces that there is something to fear.  If you can't help keep your kid calm, then shut the hell up.

2. "If you don't straighten up, the doctor/nurse will give you a shot."
     No.  Just no.  Doctors, nurses and other medical staff are trying to HELP your child.  We are not the "gobble-uns" that get you "ef you don't watch out."  Using medical procedures as a threat just prolongs a child's fear of the doctor.  It's one thing to have to hold down a 2 year old; if we have to deal with physical resistance from a 10 year old, someone's likely to get hurt.

3. "They told us he needed that (shot, IV, blood draw, etc.) in the ER, but he didn't want it, so we had no choice in the matter."
    He's THREE.  You see, there's a reason that children don't get to make their own medical decisions.  Children can't understand that they get long-term benefit from short-term discomfort.  Someone has to be the adult.  We get that your child doesn't want to get jabbed with a needle.  No one does.  We also get that your child doesn't want to be pinned down.  But these things are necessary to evaluate and treat your sick child.  We will do our best to minimize the trauma.

Also, don't get mad at the nurse that it's taking forever to get the IV if you won't help restrain the child.  The reason it takes so long is that every time the nurse hits the vein, the kid thrashes and the needle slips out.